Maine : How to honor yourself ?

June 17, 2017

When I arrived in Boston after a weekend in Paris with my family everything felt really blurry. I was so jetlagged it was ridiculous. I hadn't slept in 24 hours and couldn't find a way to relax. When the plane started landing my heart beat started running faster. I felt so emotional. I was waiting to see buildings or something. But nothing appeared. It was just blurry and cloudy and shaky. When I landed finally I just directly headed out.

After finding my bus and talking to a few people I sat down next to the window of the bus. From the moment I got off the plane I felt I was in America. Everything was so different and organized. From passeport check and security all the way to sitting in this bus. The feeling of starting an adventure is incredible and frightening at the same time it's really weird. I had no idea of what was coming next. After arriving in Portland, one of the staff member came to pick me up at the station. While I was waiting for her I tried to figure out for a few minutes which snack to get. I was so confused by the different american snacks and candy.

Like every new adventure you can feel a bit weird and lost at first. But when I saw those trees I was really amazed.

So far, working in a summer camp has already taught me some things. I was used to living with other people like in a shared flat, in a family house for the summer or during vacations, but I would have my room or a space often to retreat to be with myself when I would need to. When you work in a summer camp you get used to working and living with the same people 24/7 which is really different. We are 10 people living in the same cabin. So you are with people ALL THE TIME.

Some of my friends fill their cup by being with others, i'm the kind who fill my cup by being in quite places, or alone.

So landing directly out of my comfort zone was at first challenging but you realize at the same time how much you are more than what you think of yourself. It enabled me to explore other parts of me that I was maybe too afraid to put out there.

I also feel we often mistake travelling or incredible life changing experiences as experiences where you are high on life all the time which is not the case. The most life changing experiences are filled with great moments but also hardships and obstacles that you had to overcome. That's what makes them life changing.

It's when you face your fears that you grow and become your greatest version. It's when you put yourself in situations where you feel a bit uncomfortable that you can discover more about yourself.

Sometimes the hardest part with human relationships is trying to find our place whether we fit in or not. And the big question for me that I came accross with was how can we actually bond with people and honor our true selves at the same time ? It's a human instinct to subconsciously immitate others we spend time with. But as human we have the ability to choose. Choose between trying to fit others expectations and needs or actually honor ourselves even if it means being alone sometimes.

Loving yourself enough to stay on your track and be true to your values and yourself is the best feeling in the world. Huging your inner child in that sense is just a feeling of freedom and deep peace.

And sometimes we can loose a bit track of our road or stop for a bit but that's ok. Because even if you've might have been on the wrong track for some time it's reassuring to remember that we can always hop back on it and continue where we left.

By doing what you feel like, listening to your instinct, speaking up to address something, challenge yourself, take care of yourself, not caring about the opinion of others, and so on,  you honor yourself. And that's the most important thing in the world.

Secondly, believing in yourself enough to put yourself out there can be so liberating. Frightning but liberating. Letting yourself be suprised by some strenghts and abilities that you didn't know you had and just be instead of thinking of how to be.

And you never know what you will end up being trying out or doing. And that's what makes life such a great to experience fully.

Like babysitting horses in the afternoon in an old cabin in New-England. That was definitaly a first!

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