Survival Guide for Introverts living in Community

April 01, 2017

Labels can only confine. Aspire to be undefinable.

Through my experiences I discovered that with labels comes belief systems.
And often prevent you from expressing your entire being.

As I grew up I personally went through different phases: First I was around people all the time. If I couldn't get along with people in my school I would always find friends to hang out with. I had always someone coming over and often sleeping over or the other way around. I was rarely alone.

After that I went through a dry period where I spent more time by myself and I started to think that I was actually an introvert because I wouldn't hang out anymore with people as much as I use to.

And often I prefered a chill night in with myself with a cup of tea reading or surfing on the internet than a crazy night out with a group of friends.

But what is all this "introvert" labelling all about?

Life isn't all black or white to begin with but more about balance. No one is just an introvert or just an extravert. We all have an introvert side of our personality as an extravert side.

The most important thing is how grounded you are in yourself. Your ability to listen to your instinct knowing what makes you happy or not but also your ability to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes things can seem uncomfortable to experience but are more like overcoming a fear or doing something new and which you aren't use to.

But knowing most of the time (we are human not robots) the difference between something out of your comfort zone and something  which makes you feel unhappy or really anxious is how you can make good decisions for your well-being and your growth.

I wanted to do a survival guide for "introverts" living in community because when I was in my "introvert" years I labelled myself as an introvert and thought that I wasn't an extravert and it prevented me to grow and experience more things that I loved.

And I think in order to "survive" in community (workplace, summer camp, school, college, flat sharing, etc...) you need to wake up you extravert side. Because yes! You have one you just didn't explore it yet. The same goes to people who love to be around others all the time and don't particularly like being alone and always striving to share with someone. And it's also ok!

Because you like your alone time doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't an extravert. Too often in our society we label people and ourselves based on a little tiny part of us. And we let society confine us in these labels. Life is more complex and enjoyable than that. And you are so much more as a human being.

Dear socially anxious people

I was there. Trust me. The idea of being vulnerable or that people would make fun of me used to terrify me so much.

I felt constantly that people were judging me. I just had to enter a group or a room full of people to feel instantly judged. And was convinced "this person" was making fun of me or "that person" thought I was weird or fat and so on.

When you feel not good enough you are going to feel judged all the time. Even though sometimes it's not the case at all. And opening yourself to people is, at the same time, learning to accept and validate yourself.

Related article: Not good enough

But waking up you extravert part isn't an overnight change. And the time it takes you can differ from one person to another. And that's ok. Everyone is on its own journey and we didn't have the same experiences. Learn to trust yourself in that process. The idea is to take a tiny step each time a bit further out of your comfort zone. You don't need to make a bold move to open up. And quite frankly it can sometimes have the opposite effect and just scare you away from your progress.

For instance beginning with wearing something that you wouldn't dare wear normally. And just wear it for an hour to an entire week until you don't care anymore.

It can literally be with anything. From going outside to working in a summer camp for 3 months.

Just remember that every tiny step you take is a step further towards your happiness and freedom.

Life is about balance.

We need each other as much as we need a great connection with ourselves.

Without creating a space in yourself where you can sit with yourself and enjoy your own company you cannot learn to know yourself in order to see your strengths and your weaknesses which enable you to grow but also know what makes you vibrate and happy and what doesn't

It is as important as being able to connect with other human beings and sharing without being afraid. Seeing the world as an opportunity of wonderful people to meet and learn from. We cannot survive without each other.

So in order to survive in community if you are an "introvert" wake up your extravert part and go out of your comfort zone: share and enjoy yourself.

Know when to retreat to fill your cup and enjoy your own company. This is your strength not your weakness. And more so, life is so much more fulfilling when you give yourself the opportunity to explore yourself entirely.

Related article : Self-care : how to slow down

Finally, don't forget to be yourself because everybody else is already taken.

Peace, Love and Positivity! xxxx

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